True Confession Thursday: Wet & Wild

45 Minutes Power Spinning
1/2 Mile Swimming
Sweaty Strides

My true confessions for the week:

-I still don’t understand how those true “swimming” suits look like they can fit a cabbage patch doll, and yet I can somehow squeeze into it.

-I spent about 30 minutes yesterday in the pool and spent the entire time thinking about 2 things:  1- I was contemplating the guilt I felt about having an affair with endorphins over my love of caffeine. I  spent a good part of the swim contemplating which chemical I liked more.  2- Bubbles.

Bubbles, bubbles, bubbles...

Bubbles, bubbles, bubbles…

Everyone made fun of that sad little yellow fish in the movie, but let me tell you, there’s something so cathartic and peaceful about watching bubbles moving all over your face.

-I was wearing my super sexy red Aesperis Pivot shorts yesterday during my maniacal spin session.  About 10 minutes in I looked down and noticed sweat in a very not nice place and spent the next 30 minutes trying to figure out how to get up and walk to the locker room without everyone thinking I had peed my pants.  Fear not, by the end of the 45 minute session, there was hardly a dry spot on the darn things.

Am I the only one who’s obsessed with not having “crotch sweat” (yep I just went there)?  I honestly wear only black running shorts (and one very bright neon pair that hides everything) because I HATE walking looking around like I peed my pants.  Or even worse, I actually did (#postpartumsprintingproblems).

photo-31

I can handle the sweat on my shirt, back, neck, etc. but the second it’s on my pants I go kinda crazy about it showing.  Ask poor Sarah, who understands my obsession enough to send me pics of shorts with water/sweat poured on them to let me know if they passed my test.

Do you have a sweat phobia?

Miss-tashing the Babes

I did a brisk 8 mile bike ride chasing a poor unsuspecting super professional looking biker  guy on the trail last night.

Total biking miles for the day:  22

It should have been fun.

He was in his super fun gear, on his super fancy bike.  I trailed behind on my flat bar bike with a Target $8.99 helmet for about 5 miles trying to mimic what he was doing (I’m trying to learn this road bike thing).

Good learning opportunity for me, creepy stalkerish night for the guy.  Don’t worry, he had about 50 pounds on me so he probably figured he could take me.  Little did he know that I had done some weight work with my 8 lb hand weights.  Watch out world.

But instead of having fun, I mostly missed these little buttheads (my children think that’s a term of endearment – seriously).

Maybe I should invest in some razors.  But then I couldn’t miss-tash them.

At least they’re having fun with their grandparents – memories they’ll always have.  Me, I’ll have that special 15 minutes with random biker guy.

The Voices Inside & Outside My Head

Miles:  12 cautious bike miles
Minutes:  35ish
Cycling Un-Strides

I actually did some swimming and treading water for about 20-25 minutes yesterday as well.  But I was pretty much refereeing the boys, so it didn’t feel like a physical workout – merely an exercise of my patience.

I hate the stuffy gym, but it felt so good to get my sweat on.  I was a little slow & reluctant at first, but slowly picked up the pace.  Strangely enough, my hip/groin felt significantly better after the activity.  Hmmm….

The pace of being on the exercise bike gives me more time to think compared to running.  For the last week I’ve been saving a few one liners the kids have had.  So I present to you – the voices in and out of my head….

Outside

You know, typical day in my house – hanging with Rihanna…

+My body feels all prickly.  That must mean I’m turning into an old man.

+Chocolate:  What kind of ice can you stick your tongue to?  Strawberry:  It’s not ice, it’s a frozen pole.  Chocolate:  I want to do that!

+Why does my penis look different than my brothers? (*so it begins*)

+Me:  Stop engaging your brother.  Chocolate:  Eww gross, I’m not marrying my brother!

+Chocolate:  Check it out – mom made vulture & chicken poop for dinner! (meatless orange chicken and brown rice – any meatless chicken is henceforth referred to as vulture)

+Me:  Go clean your room!  Vanilla:  Aye, aye Captain Underpants!

+Me:  Boys do you know what Great Grandmother’s first name is?  (Referencing their 98 year old, staunchly midwest Methodist Great-Grandmother who never so much as acknowledges alcohol).  Chocolate:  Margarita!  Me:  So close, Marguerite. 

+Strawberry:  Oh my gosh Mom!  ____ (Vanilla) is throwing a total fit.  He’s completely historical!!!

+My children put some uber creepy music on the keyboard, dress up in some sort of ninja like outfits and line up their stuffed animals into a pattern.  They then announce they are playing Hunger Games.  Uh, didn’t know they knew what that was!

+In the Hunger Games mode, I spot this when I walked into my living room:

Apparently ninjas, yoga and the Hunger Games all have something in common…

Strawberry then announces:  Pardon the interruption, our ninja master needed to get his head ready for battle.  He will be done momentarily.  Say what?!  Vanilla literally stood there pseudo-meditating for about 3 minutes then literally marched to his room apparently mentally prepared for battle.

Inside

If I had a dollar for every time I wanted to say this…

+One kid is in the bathroom going to the bathroom FOREVER to the point where we’re going to be late for school…I seriously start contemplating whether or not I should put “prolonged bowel evacuation” in the “reason” column for the tardy.

+It felt so good to sweat today…like REALLY sweat after nearly a week of barely “glistening” and mentally griping.  There’s nothing like seeing sweat puddle up on every part of your body and feel it drip off your face.

+ I’ve been trying to find a way to stay motivated while on my running hiatus.  Stay tuned…I’ve got some injury plans in the works :)  More to come on that in the near future!